Vanilla
I am vanilla.
Damn.
Apparently I am vanilla in bed. This is not okay with me. I'm not angry or butt hurt that he said I was vanilla, I asked for the truth. He even said that it didn't matter to him that I'm vanilla cuz he likes me anyway.
But still, what a shock. I have never been vanilla. I just want to know when did this happen?!
When did I become this boring?
Me. The band camp girl, the one who sat back and laughed while watching my stepmom eat the Cool Whip that I had used for other purposes the night before (which by the way, I don't recommend.. it's not worth the nappy rash), the one who used to have the rep of being able to suck a golf ball through 60 feet of surgical tubing (although I don't know where that rep came from since I'd never given head at that point in time). I was a slut! And a good one. I've tried everything, I've enjoyed some of it and paid the price for some of the rest (like having my friends taunt me about certain episodes in my sex life). I've done it in more rooms and cars, hot tubs and tents than I can remember. I've slept with 23 people (one of which was female). I've had threesomes, experienced the joys of voyeurism, I've been tied up, blindfolded, oiled, even have knives run up and down my back, and tried every position in the book. So I admit, I'm a little rusty. Sex with only one person for such a long time, especially when that person gave up experimenting a long time ago followed by a long stint of abstinence can do that to a girl.
I do have some hangups in the bedroom, but they are things that with time, trust, and a little more stubbornness on my part can be dealt with.
How the hell did I become vanilla?!
I was shocked to hear this, although I had suspected it for some time. And I am determined to rectify the situation. My stubborn streak has set in, I refuse to be vanilla. Anybody have any suggestions?
Damn.
Apparently I am vanilla in bed. This is not okay with me. I'm not angry or butt hurt that he said I was vanilla, I asked for the truth. He even said that it didn't matter to him that I'm vanilla cuz he likes me anyway.
But still, what a shock. I have never been vanilla. I just want to know when did this happen?!
When did I become this boring?
Me. The band camp girl, the one who sat back and laughed while watching my stepmom eat the Cool Whip that I had used for other purposes the night before (which by the way, I don't recommend.. it's not worth the nappy rash), the one who used to have the rep of being able to suck a golf ball through 60 feet of surgical tubing (although I don't know where that rep came from since I'd never given head at that point in time). I was a slut! And a good one. I've tried everything, I've enjoyed some of it and paid the price for some of the rest (like having my friends taunt me about certain episodes in my sex life). I've done it in more rooms and cars, hot tubs and tents than I can remember. I've slept with 23 people (one of which was female). I've had threesomes, experienced the joys of voyeurism, I've been tied up, blindfolded, oiled, even have knives run up and down my back, and tried every position in the book. So I admit, I'm a little rusty. Sex with only one person for such a long time, especially when that person gave up experimenting a long time ago followed by a long stint of abstinence can do that to a girl.
I do have some hangups in the bedroom, but they are things that with time, trust, and a little more stubbornness on my part can be dealt with.
How the hell did I become vanilla?!
I was shocked to hear this, although I had suspected it for some time. And I am determined to rectify the situation. My stubborn streak has set in, I refuse to be vanilla. Anybody have any suggestions?
posted by AnywhereEden | 10:19 PM
7 Comments:
Nothing.
Dirty talk?
This is like Waiterrant's thing about girl's THINKING they give good head when they don't.
I wouldn't consider myself vanilla, but other people have a different definition of vanilla.
And if vanilla is what makes people comfortable, what's wrong with that?
Shouldn't people be comfortable in the bedroom and this would lead to being more daring.
(Like I've had sex OUTSIDE with a certain someone and he thought we as a couple are vanilla, cause we don't do the butt sex thing. Is that the defining point?)
Unless, being vanilla also means being undesirable as well. I don't think that people who say that mean that.
They just mean you haven't tied them up to your bed and had sex with some other girl in front of them.
Are "toys" vanilla? Is there some sort of fucking defining point, in this "Vanilla" thing?
I guess I didn't really answer your question, I only brought up one of my own.
(Do you see what wondering you have started in my head when I should be going to bed?)
Hopefully at least some of this long comment was helpful.
um, no, not very helpful at all.
I think that what defines vanilla depends on the couple. I think it just means the same old thing every time. Like missionary every time. There has to be some variation, maybe just bringing up ideas and brainstorming new things to try. If something is not okay with one person or the other it doesn't get added to the inventory of possibilities. If it is okay'd by both parties it gets added to repertoire.
For swinger couples the repertoire could contain things that you or I might consider a bit over the top, for Mormon couples it might contain things that we would consider the ultimate in boring. It's very individual. A Mormon man would not have said I was vanilla. A hardcore BDSM man would have said I don't even deserve a flavor. The point is that there are things that can be done to change my vanilla-ness, they just have to be things that we both agree we're willing to try, and for that to happen we have to communicate more, which means we have to be more trusting and ask questions and give honest answers without worrying about the response.
When I asked him if I was vanilla, he was honest, and I appreciate that, and hopefully my reaction won't keep him from continuing to be honest with me, and maybe asking me some questions that he'd like a straight answer to, or making suggestions about our activities that he'd like my opinion on.
Never mind, I'm off on a tangent, I don't even know if that makes sense to anyone but me.
No, it makes sense. The only problem would be if he doesn't feel like he can share.
Mine's not a talker, which would mean that I come up with ideas and just hope they work.
A swift intake of breath usually tips me off. :)
Yes, that was what I was gonna say.
Different definitions makes all the difference in the world.
I would consider Vanilla to be having sex three times a week, on mapped-out days, with the lights off, in the missionary position.
Now you've taken my thunder away. I was gonna do a whole long post about it.
Just the different view points. I must admit, I was a little butt hurt for you. But since you are not butt hurt, I can throw it off. :)
I hope to see you soon.
Well. Dear me suds.
I suppose it was polite that you asked him if you were vanilla instead of complaining to him that he is vanilla, but then I am an old, old lady who actually still adheres to the ancient idea that a guy takes the lead. That is, a guy takes the lead until a girl gets bored silly and takes the bull by the horns -- IF she trusts said guy not to freak out about it.
Vanilla schmanilla. Pot, kettle ... all that rot. Takes two to Tango, and boo on Mags for letting you take the fall.
How about quit posting confessional sexual post and just start fucking. It goes to say, being instead of thinking. good luck.
Well, I'm not bored silly.. yet, and if I do get bored I will definitely do something about it.
However despite the fact that I appreciate hungry writer's comment and would love to do just that, the fact that we live 86 miles apart puts a damper on us just fucking regularly. Full time jobs (with different schedules)an hour and a half drive, and a 7 year old kid kind of limit the possibilities.
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