Psycho Babble
Okay, this is interesting...
I've been paying close attention to people's responses to my Johari and Nohari windows. First off, I'm kind of disappointed that more people didn't respond to the Nohari window. You know who you are. This is an experiment in my personality and it does me no good if I have biased data. So tell me my bad points!
I noticed two things here:
1) The person who doesn't know me IRL had the closest responses to my own observations. This means either a.) the person that I think I am is a complete farce and that is what I portray through my writing, or b.) the person that I think I am is who I really am and who I portray through my blog. The others based their responses on face-to-face interactions with me, in which I behave differently with each person based on their behaviors. Does that make sense? I tend to be what people need me to be.
Like for example, Des tends to be highly emotional (she's a Cancer, it comes with the territory), so she sees me as being a stable, calm presence that is there to help her center when she's struggling.
Jenn and I have had a semi-business relationship as well as a friendship, because she was my babysitter, so she sees me as someone who is reliable, and someone that she has been able to debate with about our differences in opinion without losing me as a friend. She was able to get to the nitty-gritty in the Nohari window because she and I have always agreed to disagree, and she knows that I can accept the criticism (although I did ask her about one of her answers that seemed a little harsh, but after she explained it it makes more sense, and I have to agree with her).
Mags.. poor Mags, he's probably the least likely to ever know me. I have a hard time letting down my guard with men. He'll probably never see the side of me that keeps people going when they're falling apart, that holds it together even though I'm scared shitless... those are the parts of me that I don't share easily. Oddly, Lori actually caught onto some of that, even though she doesn't even know me in person.
2) Everyone agrees that I'm insecure. Most of the words I chose for my negative traits were fairly mild, while others picked the more aggressive forms of those words. I chose smug, they chose boastful. I chose dispassionate, they chose callous. They are just stronger versions of the original words. Is this a sign that I'm rather meek even in my word choice? Or that I'm unwilling to admit that I'm not just dispassionate.. I'm callous? Are my actions really that much stronger than I see them to be?
In the end the question to ask myself is are any of these characteristics really who I am? Or are they all an act intended to win people's approval, even my own approval? If so, then who is the real me? What am I really like? When do I drop the act, and how do I know that that isn't just another layer of acting?
Ariels are like onions, we've got layers.
I've been paying close attention to people's responses to my Johari and Nohari windows. First off, I'm kind of disappointed that more people didn't respond to the Nohari window. You know who you are. This is an experiment in my personality and it does me no good if I have biased data. So tell me my bad points!
I noticed two things here:
1) The person who doesn't know me IRL had the closest responses to my own observations. This means either a.) the person that I think I am is a complete farce and that is what I portray through my writing, or b.) the person that I think I am is who I really am and who I portray through my blog. The others based their responses on face-to-face interactions with me, in which I behave differently with each person based on their behaviors. Does that make sense? I tend to be what people need me to be.
Like for example, Des tends to be highly emotional (she's a Cancer, it comes with the territory), so she sees me as being a stable, calm presence that is there to help her center when she's struggling.
Jenn and I have had a semi-business relationship as well as a friendship, because she was my babysitter, so she sees me as someone who is reliable, and someone that she has been able to debate with about our differences in opinion without losing me as a friend. She was able to get to the nitty-gritty in the Nohari window because she and I have always agreed to disagree, and she knows that I can accept the criticism (although I did ask her about one of her answers that seemed a little harsh, but after she explained it it makes more sense, and I have to agree with her).
Mags.. poor Mags, he's probably the least likely to ever know me. I have a hard time letting down my guard with men. He'll probably never see the side of me that keeps people going when they're falling apart, that holds it together even though I'm scared shitless... those are the parts of me that I don't share easily. Oddly, Lori actually caught onto some of that, even though she doesn't even know me in person.
2) Everyone agrees that I'm insecure. Most of the words I chose for my negative traits were fairly mild, while others picked the more aggressive forms of those words. I chose smug, they chose boastful. I chose dispassionate, they chose callous. They are just stronger versions of the original words. Is this a sign that I'm rather meek even in my word choice? Or that I'm unwilling to admit that I'm not just dispassionate.. I'm callous? Are my actions really that much stronger than I see them to be?
In the end the question to ask myself is are any of these characteristics really who I am? Or are they all an act intended to win people's approval, even my own approval? If so, then who is the real me? What am I really like? When do I drop the act, and how do I know that that isn't just another layer of acting?
Ariels are like onions, we've got layers.
posted by AnywhereEden | 8:41 AM
6 Comments:
Are you sure you're not more like a parfait?
Ain't nobody don't like no parfait!
So you're moving this weekend, huh? Cool!
Maybe I am more like a parfait... except when I'm stinky and make people cry.
I looked at smug and thought....naw, that's not Ariel. Maybe I'm just as smug?
How is dispassionate related to callous? I'd say dispassionate is more like apathetic.
I think that they have to be REALLY bad qualities for me to notice maybe....
Unless you live with me. But we haven't lived together.
callous
adj : emotionally hardened; "a callous indifference to suffering"; "cold-blooded and indurate to public opinion" [syn: thick-skinned, indurate, pachydermatous] v : make insensitive or callous; deaden feelings or morals [syn: cauterize, cauterise]
dispassionate
adj: Devoid of or unaffected by passion, emotion, or bias.
adj : unaffected by strong emotion or prejudice; "a journalist should be a dispassionate reporter of fact" [syn: cold-eyed]
Honestly, I am both. I tend to be hardened to the suffering of others, it's just safer that way. Otherwise I get too emotional. And I try to keep a cool head and think logically, which could be interpreted as being unaffected by emotion.
I think you are extremely intelligent and far wiser than many people double your age. As my dad would say, you’ve got book smarts and common sense. I also believe you are a realist, and I think not much in this world shocks you.
I do not see you as a drama queen, more as someone who assesses a situation and does what needs to be done. I also believe that you exercise good judgment, and have the faculties and trust your inner filter to make wise decisions.
I pretty much think you are cool as hell. Yep, the negative, well I try not to focus on it, and honestly I haven’t picked up on negatives from you….Now as for being callous, maybe desensitized? And dispassionate, I think you have passion, a passion for what’s right, passion to live, passion to love….sorry I’m babbling again.
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