Selfish
He keeps telling me it's okay to be selfish sometimes.
I am selfish... sometimes.
I mean, I basically do what I want, nobody controls me. That's kinda selfish right?
The problem is that I already feel like I'm being selfish. So asking for anything else is just being uber-selfish. Right?
It's time to get hopping on making some money though, my car insurance needs to get paid, and my credit cards.
I need to find a way to make money without giving up my time with Mina though, because then we have the same situation as before where I resent my job because of how it affects her. plus finding and paying for childcare gets frustrating, and seems kind of pointless when I could work only during the time she's in school and still make an adequate amount of money.
I've lost some of my self-confidence from my previous job though. When I quit, I felt so empowered, so strong in my own ability to do anything if given the chance. Now that feeling has waned and I'm uncertain of my ability to do what's needed, I'm falling into the "afraid to fail" cycle again. It keeps me from even trying. I have to though. As much as I enjoy the quiet time around the house, I need to find something to do with myself.
I am selfish... sometimes.
I mean, I basically do what I want, nobody controls me. That's kinda selfish right?
The problem is that I already feel like I'm being selfish. So asking for anything else is just being uber-selfish. Right?
It's time to get hopping on making some money though, my car insurance needs to get paid, and my credit cards.
I need to find a way to make money without giving up my time with Mina though, because then we have the same situation as before where I resent my job because of how it affects her. plus finding and paying for childcare gets frustrating, and seems kind of pointless when I could work only during the time she's in school and still make an adequate amount of money.
I've lost some of my self-confidence from my previous job though. When I quit, I felt so empowered, so strong in my own ability to do anything if given the chance. Now that feeling has waned and I'm uncertain of my ability to do what's needed, I'm falling into the "afraid to fail" cycle again. It keeps me from even trying. I have to though. As much as I enjoy the quiet time around the house, I need to find something to do with myself.
posted by AnywhereEden | 10:48 PM
5 Comments:
Cronic masterbation works.
Doing what you want within reason,
Ariel you operate within reason.
See I know you, and I haven’t even had the opportunity or privilege of being in your space yet. No, I’m not close talker like that guy on Seinfeld, but you know, seeing your body language, giving you a real hug, hangin’ with you, but I can detect from your writings and reasoning that you are a reasonable person.
Dismiss the guilt, just let it go, say it with me, “I do what I want within reason, I pull my weight and by gaaa, if I want to do what I want when I want as an adult I will.” There, don’t ‘cha feel better now?
You’ll find that job that allows you to pay your bills, and be with your loves. It’s not an and or thing, or it doesn’t have to be, it can be an and thing. Yah. A win, win situation.
You have already written it down, you have set the universe on it. It’s a powerful thing to know what you want, especially if you write it down.
You are a fair minded person, and your confidence is there; you haven’t lost it; hell’s bells baby, I can see it. Why you absolutely reek of confidence. But I appreciate what you are saying here, we all go through it; it’s a human thang.
And, yes, there is always what Aaron said up there, made me laugh, you too?
X’s and o’s from a sleepy old ho, oh crap I’m really not a ho, it was all I could think of besides penis bows….My mind has deserted me.
I was informed that my spelling was atrocious, so here is my revision. Please forgive my previous post. I was (still am to an extent) in pain from the pulled groin from trying to be manly during my dodgeball game.
Chronic masturbation works!
/bow
Hang in. You're in a very normal stage of job quittery. It takes a while to detox.
Have you found any good leads yet?
If nothing else, Bi-Mart is always hiring. Would make a good transition job.
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