Pickin It Back Up

It seems kind of weird after all this time to even think about returning to the blog world. But as I'm still keeping up with some of my favorite folks (waves at Zilla and Ange) it only makes sense to be able to return the favor and share my exciting little endeavors with them again. Especially now that I have some things to write about again. Plus I'm really incredibly bored right now and playing the waiting game on some things. I figure the best way to cope with waiting (I hate waiting) is to keep busy.

So here's the lowdown: Aaron and I got engaged the day before Thanksgiving, but we have no idea how to plan a wedding so we haven't got it together yet. Actually this turned out to be a good thing since I found out a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant (10 weeks now) so at least none of the wedding plans were set in stone before this little incident occurred. While this wasn't a planned pregnancy we are both really happy and excited about it. So much so that I'm actually unexpectedly anxious and uncertain about the whole thing, I would be heartbroken if I miscarried and so would he. Being this hopeful about something just leads me into complete panic mode that something could go wrong. Aaron calls me "Ms. Glass-Half-Empty". I don't know that I'm all that negative, just that I prefer to be prepared for the worst because it protects me from the extremes of disappointment when things do go wrong. Does that make sense?
Of course, he also likes to make me yell. He says I'm too conservative about my emotions and I should let them out, even the bad ones. I figure if I keep myself composed I won't upset anyone else, which leads to much more peaceful interpersonal relations. Meanwhile, he still does things specifically to piss me off so I will yell at him and he can be happy that he's not marrying an emotionless zombie. Does this seem like an odd relationship? It actually bothers me when he throws me off enough to make me yell. I don't like yelling. But he seems reassured by it, like it means I give a damn because I'm pissed.
*shrug*
Who can explain men?

So back to the purpose of this post... We are also moving this month into the nearby town. The house is in better condition than the one we're in now. Including having AC (THANK GOD!) and 2 bathrooms. I am excited to get out of this slum house, but the new place was his parents's house, so it has a certain weirdness factor. Another bonus is that since we're moving it gives me an excuse to force him to get rid of some of the junk he has been pack-ratting for years. I will be glad to get rid of things and move into a house where I get to be selective about what is made visible. I don't deal well with excessive clutter. My sister thinks this stems from a desire to be in control of things. To some extent I know she's right, but as far as their own personal comfort goes everyone has their limit. For some people it comes down to white gloving for dust. For me it's just a matter of having a place to put things, when I have no space to put things and they start piling up in corners I tend to reach the point of being uncomfortable in my surroundings. This is going to become much more apparent to Aaron once we have a baby in the house. I am not a baby safety freak, I don't use safety latches (except for the cats, who enjoy playing in the cupboards) and really don't bother with most of the obsessive baby-proofing stuff many parents depend on. I kind of prefer to actually watch my kids and when I can't watch them I keep them locked up, or unconscious (i.e. in a playpen or napping). But when things are piled haphazardly in corners I have concerns about baby safety. Hopefully he'll learn to keep his stuff put away or I will have to seriously chew him out.

Anyway, I suppose this is an adequate update on things with me for the time being. Undoubtedly I will be posting more frequently now as I'm pacing the house waiting for nine months to be over. Besides, I will have to post a pic of my wedding dress that I may never fit in again. *sigh*