Mental Block

A while ago Segue mentioned that my headers for my blog and profile were awfully negative, and that it showed a bit much of my cynical side. Originally that was kind of the plan. So I tried to change them to better reflect my personality and this is what I came up with: 'i don't know, i am apparently not creative enough to come up with anything tonight. maybe tomorrow will be better.' and ' 26 year old single mom with no free time on my hands. I am the reason your mother always told you not to talk to strangers.'

Would anyone be willing to help me out with these? I have a tough time saying something positive about myself without coming off as being conceited. And I've just run completely out of cute little catch-phrases to explain my blog.
So, I am currently accepting submissions. please avoid the use of anything pertaining to donkeys, watermelons, or chartreuse. That's the only stipulation.

oh wait, and NO band camp remarks.

BTW, Segue, did you get my entry into Zilla's banner battle?