Hell's Kitchen part 2: The Beginning of the End

Now that all of my readers properly understand my own special brand of insanity, it's time to begin my story.

List of Characters:
Jen: my friend of many years, my daughter's babysitter, mother of 5 year old Kiesha and 1 1/2 year old Orion. Owner of a piece of shit mobile home in west Eugene. Leo.
Chris: husband of Jen, computer genius, also owner of POS mobile home. There are times when he and I get along better than Jen and I. Cancer.
Kiesha: one of the few children on this planet that just irks me. Virgo.
Orion: does not irk me. Sagittarius.
Mina: my own spawn, 6 years old, unusually whiney during this episode. Scorpio.
Ariel: me, 'nuff said. Voluntarily a part of this debacle. Taurus.

My mission (which I did accept, sadly) was to remove the kitchen counter from the wall and replace the subflooring under it and the refrigerator where it had rotted due to a leaky dishwasher and fridge; and then replace all of the kitchen linoleum with linoleum tile in a new prettier pattern.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE

This project began on Friday the 18th of March, while I was out running around Jen and Chris began removing the old linoleum with butter knives and fingers, thanks to a lack of proper tools.
I arrived Saturday morning to find only half of the linoleum removed. We detached the plumbing under the sink, removed the counter (I make this sound simple here, but in reality it took hours because of the dynamics of the situation and the abundance of stripped screws holding the damned thing in place.)

After removing the counter we took trip (#1) to Jerry's for supplies. Bought: scrapers for remaining linoleum, caps for water pipes (so we could turn the rest of the water in the house back on), jigsaw (for cutting shit, duh!), caulk, sanding blocks (to smooth floor under old linoleum), and a few other random items. The plan was to rip everything out and then go back to Jerry's on a lumber run to replace what we'd ripped out. Good plan right?
Everyone at Jerry's is very helpful and polite, they all give us advice, we don't take most of it.

Jen and girlies have been tearing at remaining linoleum this whole time with little success. Ate lunch.

Began cutting with the jigsaw, realized (luckily before cutting through them) that the pipes don't just drop down through the floor but run along one of the beams about two inches below the subflooring. Give up cutting, start tearing rotten floor out with hammers. Chris gets teeny little hand injury #1. Upon seeing the gaping hole in her kitchen floor, Jen commences having a panic attack.

Watch for part 3: It's only water! coming soon.