Only 6 More Weeks... Seems Like Forever
Every hour of every day is taking years to go by. Even the nights, since I'm up every hour or so to use the bathroom, or strip off my jammies because I'm roasting, or just get up and move to relieve heartburn or wring some feeling into my circulation starved limbs, or cry while trying to stretch out a middle of the night leg cramp.
Yeah, sleep has not been going well for me the last week or so.
I will be glad to get back to being able to sleep comfortably soon, of course at that point I'll be up every hour to feed and change the baby. But that will be easier because Aaron will have to suffer with me rather than sleeping through my late night discomforts, while I seethe in frustration at his sleeping-like-a-baby form.
Days are just plain tedious. After not sleeping well I try to find things to do with myself, but nothing that's going to take a lot of energy, or do damage to my back. The back trouble has gotten really bad as Alex is now big enough to nudge the nerves along my spine when he rolls around, add that to the inflammation and the strain on it from being so front heavy and walking like a duck, and you have a nice recipe for day-in day-out pain with little relief. Can't take ibuprofen, stuck with hot baths and deep breathing for pain management.
It's the suck.
I think doctors should start telling women that pregnancy lasts 50 weeks from now on, so by the time they feel like they can't wait anymore for it to end and start to feel hopeless that they'll make it through, it'll all be over... 10 weeks earlier than they were told. The last couple months are the hardest, and having them end sooner without any negative repercussions for the baby would be awesome.
Being pregnant again after 10 years has brought up a lot of thoughts and memories about when Mina was a baby. Noticing all the differences between the two pregnancies, like actually having a whole week of nausea this time around. Remembering the time I fainted in a store from being on my feet too long in the heat, and seeing little bunnies and teddy bears floating around my head. I had so much more energy back then, of course I was only 19 and was in great shape. I walked 5 miles on Halloween, a week before giving birth to Mina, to bring in as much candy as I could. I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding after which I went into labor and had to call her and her husband to the hospital during their honeymoon to stay with me because my birthing partner was out of town for the weekend. It was so long ago, but the more I think about how this one is going the more I remember about that time in my life.
Even more than the pregnancy I keep remembering what Mina was like as a baby, how much she made me smile, watching her laugh hysterically while I spun her around in the recliner, the time I put her in her carseat and didn't realize my dad hadn't strapped it into the seatbelt and it tumbled forward as we went around a curve to leave her hanging above the foot space in the backseat. Scared the crap out of me. Her first word, her first steps (across my dad's living room to pet the dog), potty training (now that was challenging), first day of school, first cuss word, first taste of solid food, first major illness... all the places we lived and people we spent our time with, all the trouble she got into, how sweet she looked when she was sleeping. It's funny, after 10 years she still looks just like she did as a baby when she's asleep. Her face all slack and relaxed, whole body sprawled across the bed, mouth slightly open... although she doesn't make the little sucking motions in her sleep that she did when she was younger and used to having a pacifier.
I miss all that stuff, and I can't wait to do it all again. It's no wonder I'm so impatient to be done with pregnancy.
Yeah, sleep has not been going well for me the last week or so.
I will be glad to get back to being able to sleep comfortably soon, of course at that point I'll be up every hour to feed and change the baby. But that will be easier because Aaron will have to suffer with me rather than sleeping through my late night discomforts, while I seethe in frustration at his sleeping-like-a-baby form.
Days are just plain tedious. After not sleeping well I try to find things to do with myself, but nothing that's going to take a lot of energy, or do damage to my back. The back trouble has gotten really bad as Alex is now big enough to nudge the nerves along my spine when he rolls around, add that to the inflammation and the strain on it from being so front heavy and walking like a duck, and you have a nice recipe for day-in day-out pain with little relief. Can't take ibuprofen, stuck with hot baths and deep breathing for pain management.
It's the suck.
I think doctors should start telling women that pregnancy lasts 50 weeks from now on, so by the time they feel like they can't wait anymore for it to end and start to feel hopeless that they'll make it through, it'll all be over... 10 weeks earlier than they were told. The last couple months are the hardest, and having them end sooner without any negative repercussions for the baby would be awesome.
Being pregnant again after 10 years has brought up a lot of thoughts and memories about when Mina was a baby. Noticing all the differences between the two pregnancies, like actually having a whole week of nausea this time around. Remembering the time I fainted in a store from being on my feet too long in the heat, and seeing little bunnies and teddy bears floating around my head. I had so much more energy back then, of course I was only 19 and was in great shape. I walked 5 miles on Halloween, a week before giving birth to Mina, to bring in as much candy as I could. I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding after which I went into labor and had to call her and her husband to the hospital during their honeymoon to stay with me because my birthing partner was out of town for the weekend. It was so long ago, but the more I think about how this one is going the more I remember about that time in my life.
Even more than the pregnancy I keep remembering what Mina was like as a baby, how much she made me smile, watching her laugh hysterically while I spun her around in the recliner, the time I put her in her carseat and didn't realize my dad hadn't strapped it into the seatbelt and it tumbled forward as we went around a curve to leave her hanging above the foot space in the backseat. Scared the crap out of me. Her first word, her first steps (across my dad's living room to pet the dog), potty training (now that was challenging), first day of school, first cuss word, first taste of solid food, first major illness... all the places we lived and people we spent our time with, all the trouble she got into, how sweet she looked when she was sleeping. It's funny, after 10 years she still looks just like she did as a baby when she's asleep. Her face all slack and relaxed, whole body sprawled across the bed, mouth slightly open... although she doesn't make the little sucking motions in her sleep that she did when she was younger and used to having a pacifier.
I miss all that stuff, and I can't wait to do it all again. It's no wonder I'm so impatient to be done with pregnancy.
posted by AnywhereEden | 2:15 PM
6 Comments:
Don't you kind of wish a leg cramp would make you kick the sleeping like a baby person? I HATE it when I can't sleep and Ben is just fine.
But being awake in the middle of the night makes me a pretty goddamn cranky person. I hope you are being waited on hand and foot. =)
When I was pregnant, I was ready to be done for about one day a month beforehand. Then I realized what I had to do to have the baby, and I neglected to be in such a rush, in fact I kind of didn't want to do it anymore.
But it's amazing to me to think about how much different it can all be in different pregnancies.
I miss you, thanks for the pic on MySpace!
I was remembering her being a baby too. How she would laugh when we played baby football, the pacifier falling i not her wailing mouth. Telling you to shut up in the back of the car, oh and the word "yookie"
I kind of miss how close our girls were, even though my kid usually ended up hurt from it. Mina really did love her though, i remember helping her write a letter to Santa and her asking for eczema medicine for Kiesha.
I hope Alex is a little less of a challenge than Mina. Especially with the poop phases she went through. And also that he isn't nearly as Hyper as Orion.
Memories ...
You know, in some ways, I know my first pregnancy was the easiest of the four that went full term. However, the second (and third and fourth) deliveries were easier than the first.
Here I sit, selfishly wondering, will she update her blog in six weeks, or will she wait until she had a pic of Alex's first smile?
Yes, I am wicked enough to impose blog-guilt on a pregnant woman.
Hang in there, toots.
(Is this kid going to be a Scorpio?)
At 52, I'm glad it's grandkids now instead of kids...
The women in my wife's family all tend to go 10 months, though now the doctors tend to not let them go that long...the youngest nephew is 16 now, and he was a 10 month...we're not in any rush for the nieces to find out!
I'm glad you are looking through the "now" of things towards the brightness of the future!
alan
I'm exited for you. A boy and a girl, perfect.
My favorite all time line from now on, "It is the suck." That's right, I love it and I do intend to use it because it speaks to me, and you, you're the greatest.
xx
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