What I've Been Avoiding
I've been avoiding writing about this... but, it's been on my mind, and the best way to deal with something that's been on my mind is to blog about it.
While we were at the Gathering Aaron slipped up. Major Freudian slip. He was talking to Flufy and actually said "...my wife" in regards to me. Eek! I was standing right there and was probably way more shocked than he or Flufy. Flufy turned it around and joked about whether there was a proposal he didn't know about. Aaron replied that he would need to ask my dad's permission (he's so old-fashioned, and hasn't realized yet that the women rule my family. So if he does decide to ask, then he better ask my mom and my sister).
So, you can see why this has been on my mind... add on the fact that I gained a pet name that weekend as well...
But, as always I have a habit of putting myself out there and then taking two steps back.
We were not careful that weekend. We did not use protection.
When we got home we were talking about the fact that we were not careful, and Aaron expressed the fact that he'd like to be married before procreating. I took two steps back. I said that I didn't think marriage was necessary and that he was much more traditional than me. I suppose that could be taken as an I don't want to get married statement, but it wasn't.
Translation: I don't want someone to marry me just because I got pregnant. I'd rather not be married and have a bastard than feel like the only reason I'm married is because of that. I would love to get married at some point, but it is not necessary for me to be happy, I could live with someone forever without needing to get married to prove that I was committed. Basically, I'm of the opinion that marriage is a state/religious thing, I'm not a big fan of the government, or most organized religions, therefore actually being married is not essential. It's more about feeling that attachment, than having the paper to prove it. I feel that kind of attachment already, I don't need the paper to keep me with him.
I have to admit, I've slipped up and referred to him as my husband. It just seemed natural, it feels right to call him that. No documentation or ring can make you feel that, so I don't need it. Not that I wouldn't be totally ecstatic if it did happen.
(...Should I post this? Would it be wise? Or should I just keep these thoughts to myself, and play it safe... no, I'm not taking two steps back this time... moving forward. And I feel that I have to explain myself, because I know he'll be reading, and like I said earlier, my blog is his insider's view.)
*heh, I'm still staring at the screen, pondering whether or not to post it...
While we were at the Gathering Aaron slipped up. Major Freudian slip. He was talking to Flufy and actually said "...my wife" in regards to me. Eek! I was standing right there and was probably way more shocked than he or Flufy. Flufy turned it around and joked about whether there was a proposal he didn't know about. Aaron replied that he would need to ask my dad's permission (he's so old-fashioned, and hasn't realized yet that the women rule my family. So if he does decide to ask, then he better ask my mom and my sister).
So, you can see why this has been on my mind... add on the fact that I gained a pet name that weekend as well...
But, as always I have a habit of putting myself out there and then taking two steps back.
We were not careful that weekend. We did not use protection.
When we got home we were talking about the fact that we were not careful, and Aaron expressed the fact that he'd like to be married before procreating. I took two steps back. I said that I didn't think marriage was necessary and that he was much more traditional than me. I suppose that could be taken as an I don't want to get married statement, but it wasn't.
Translation: I don't want someone to marry me just because I got pregnant. I'd rather not be married and have a bastard than feel like the only reason I'm married is because of that. I would love to get married at some point, but it is not necessary for me to be happy, I could live with someone forever without needing to get married to prove that I was committed. Basically, I'm of the opinion that marriage is a state/religious thing, I'm not a big fan of the government, or most organized religions, therefore actually being married is not essential. It's more about feeling that attachment, than having the paper to prove it. I feel that kind of attachment already, I don't need the paper to keep me with him.
I have to admit, I've slipped up and referred to him as my husband. It just seemed natural, it feels right to call him that. No documentation or ring can make you feel that, so I don't need it. Not that I wouldn't be totally ecstatic if it did happen.
(...Should I post this? Would it be wise? Or should I just keep these thoughts to myself, and play it safe... no, I'm not taking two steps back this time... moving forward. And I feel that I have to explain myself, because I know he'll be reading, and like I said earlier, my blog is his insider's view.)
*heh, I'm still staring at the screen, pondering whether or not to post it...
posted by AnywhereEden | 10:23 AM
7 Comments:
"Basically, I'm of the opinion that marriage is a state/religious thing"
Funny, Pastor Joe down at the Quaker church believes marriage is only evident in your heart -- that paperwork and seals of approval are nothing compared to that :-) It's why I adore him.
I suck, I think I need a piece of paper. I'm lame like that.
I think maybe I just really want a wedding "day", where I get a bunch of attention and get my way, and just have a bunch of fun and feel connected, like I got to pick some of my family.
Ben rocks way more than most of my family, so that would be cool.
I'm strange.
Hey, I also agree peeps shouldn't marry just because of a pregnancy. So, put your mind to rest on that. It would only hurt the child more if that was the only reason their parents got married. :)
My "husband" and I have been together for 14 years. 14 years today as a matter of fact. We aren't legally married, we've had kids like you wouldn't believe (5 together) and we've called each other "husband" and "wife" for ever. I don't give a rat's ass about paperwork or a church's blessing. We each had both with our first spouses, and his divorce cost him $0, zero, zilch, nada, mine cost me $25.
Anyway.
He's your man, you're both comfortable, it's all good.
I'll never marry again, (at least that's what I believe right now) too complicated, too unnecessary for my life, it would change things. Been there, done that.
I'm a "bastard" it really hasn't affected me adversely, but the name sort of creeps me out. Yep I'm a dork.
Haaaah. Bill slipped at the emergency tent and called me "his friend."
Glad you posted it, it was a sweet slipup.
What you've been avoiding is updating. ;-)
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