Segue has proven my point.

LOL.
See? Green shoes just aren't cute on me. :P

LOL, Thanks Karina!

After all these years, I still have a lot of fun playing dress-up. Spent quite a while today picking out the perfect outfit for my candybar doll.



I've always wanted to be the type of girl who could get away with wearing neon green pumps and a pink skirt... but it's just not me. /sigh

I will never become a citizen at this rate

You Failed the US Citizenship Test

Oops, you only got 6 out of 10 right!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Unbelievable

My last post got an unbelievable amount of response, and here I'd thought that people had stopped reading.

This morning I went down to see my caseworker again. We went over my previous application and he showed me where I was lacking. Apparently I'm quite qualified. I just filled the app out like I would have for any other company... short, sweet, and to the point. Making my responses fit in the little box provided. The state works differently tho, they want you to fill the little box and even into the next box, and show every little detail of what you did.

I also believed the application when it said not to circle a skill if you didn't feel that you were 'proficient' at it. So I didn't circle the typing speed of 45-54 wpm. He said that was probably what killed me, and just to go ahead and circle it.

So, I will be spending some time circling things, and creatively writing out what I did in each of my previous jobs.
And we'll see what that gets me... hopefully a decent job.

The End of Days

I was reading Karina's blog (which I am currently too brain dead to link to)today. She was talking about how we are pretty much useless as a society, in terms of survival, in the event that the civilized world crashed down around us.
i don't think that's entirely true tho. I think individually we might be, but as a whole there are an abundance of survival skills that we have and just don't realize it, mostly because we've never had a need to use them. Like, starting a fire. I'm pretty sure I can do it, I understand the chemistry involved. You need air, fuel, and heat. Voila`! You have fire. But, I've never actually done it because it's just easier to light a match or lighter. I learned how to do it from watching Castaway and Survivor. The TV has taught me something useful after all.

I also have a good idea how to card and spin wool into thread. I need a lot more practice to get good at it but I understand how it's done. Once I have thread, I can knit or crochet a lot of things. (Although, sadly, not a sock) The point is that we probably all have some sort of useful survival 'knowledge', if not the actual 'skills', and that knowledge when applied will become skill. We just don't apply it. I am a gardener, and have a good idea of what plants are dangerous and what are beneficial, I also know there are some people out there who can brew beer... which means they can also given the right tools, create distilled alcohol, a good disinfectant. Or distilled water. There are people who can make tools, nails, hooks, hinges... blacksmithing is an easy enought thing to do, it just takes practice to learn how to make things stronger, less brittle, or rust resistant.

So, if world civilization collapsed, and we were stranded in our homes... what skills do you have that would lead to our survival?


Can you fish, hunt, grow plants, use plants for medicine, cook over an open fire, do metal work, make clothing? Without modern appliances, or a grocery store?

I'd bet that between any 20-30 people there is an adequate combination of skills or knowledge to be able to cover the needs of that group.

(ack, I'm starting to sound like my dad.)

Mouth is Better

After one day of excrutiating pain, and two days of dull, aching pain, my mouth got better. I can manage to hold off on the dentist for a bit longer, but not too long, i promise. So don't freak out that I'm not getting it dealt with.


It's beginning to look like there will be no visit to Eugene in my near future. As sad as that makes me, it is a necessity. Until I get a job and can pay off some debts, or at least reinstate my car insurance, I won't be going anywhere. I'm scheduling an appointment to see my caseworker about helping me apply for a state job this week.
Wish me luck.

It's Not a Tumah

(that was my lousy Arnold Schwartzenegger impression)

It may not be a tumor, but I thimk it might be an abscess. Leave it to me, the girl who got her very first cavity only a year ago, and it was even too small to fill. Apparently, my teeth have decided it's time to make up for all that peaceful time. They hurt. The too small to fill one, that got drilled, filled, and then promptly lost it's filling hurts, and so do at least two other teeth. One of which hurts all the way up to my eye socket, and my ear on that side. It's making my head and neck sore, my nose stuffed up and my tonsil on that side inflamed. Haven't ever had an abscess before, but I think that this should qualify. For now, I'm treating it by gargling Black Velvet when it gets really bad, had an ice pack on my face for part of the night last night tho. I'm glad I got my medical back now.
So I figure i'll hold out until the medical card comes in and go find a dentist, if I come down with a fever before then I'll just go to the hospital. Such is life.

I Emanate

Went down to AFS this morning, I keep kicking myself because I've been such a slacker lately, I finally got around to reapplying for food stamps and medical. My teeth have been bothering me, and Mina's are coming in really crooked. I was getting a bit desperate to have medical coverage of some kind. So anyway, I made the appointment yesterday, and went in today. My caseworker is awesome!
Anyone who's ever tangled with the state should know this is a very rare thing. He sat me down and said, so... your boyfriend's paying your way right now? I had just put that he was my roommate.
I nodded and we chit chatted about why I quit my last job, saying that Patty was the devil just didn't really encompass all that I put up with at that place. Then he explained that I was screwed as far as medical went, unless I had no income at all in the last 3 months... which I didn't, so I got medical. I asked if I would need to be in the JOBS program and he said, well, since you live in Aurora, and your vehicle isn't reliable, riiiight? Then I can exempt you from JOBS, you seem like you can manage to find work on your own anyway. Next, he let me off the hook for being a co-owner of property (that's always been a pain to deal with when it came to the state).
Then he said, you know, you should apply with the state, you seem like a very smart, capable, and friendly young woman. I think you'd do really well. Have you ever considered it?
Have I?! I only applied like 18 times last year, and 5 more this year. So, he suggested I try applying up in this area, because they are desperate for Human Service Specialists, and said that I would more than qualify if I write it down properly. He didn't even have a degree and he got the job. So I have an advantage there. Anyway, my super-cool caseworker offered to help me out with applying for a state position again, to hit on all the things they are looking for. He also got me enough food stamps to cover us for the rest of the month, and twice as much every month after for a year, or until I make more than $1396 a month. And, I now have medical coverage on me and Mina.

Now, I'm gonna go download the PD100 State Employment Form again, and fill it out again, and on Monday I'm gonna give him a call and see what assistance he can offer me in getting my application accepted.

What I've Been Avoiding

I've been avoiding writing about this... but, it's been on my mind, and the best way to deal with something that's been on my mind is to blog about it.

While we were at the Gathering Aaron slipped up. Major Freudian slip. He was talking to Flufy and actually said "...my wife" in regards to me. Eek! I was standing right there and was probably way more shocked than he or Flufy. Flufy turned it around and joked about whether there was a proposal he didn't know about. Aaron replied that he would need to ask my dad's permission (he's so old-fashioned, and hasn't realized yet that the women rule my family. So if he does decide to ask, then he better ask my mom and my sister).
So, you can see why this has been on my mind... add on the fact that I gained a pet name that weekend as well...
But, as always I have a habit of putting myself out there and then taking two steps back.
We were not careful that weekend. We did not use protection.
When we got home we were talking about the fact that we were not careful, and Aaron expressed the fact that he'd like to be married before procreating. I took two steps back. I said that I didn't think marriage was necessary and that he was much more traditional than me. I suppose that could be taken as an I don't want to get married statement, but it wasn't.
Translation: I don't want someone to marry me just because I got pregnant. I'd rather not be married and have a bastard than feel like the only reason I'm married is because of that. I would love to get married at some point, but it is not necessary for me to be happy, I could live with someone forever without needing to get married to prove that I was committed. Basically, I'm of the opinion that marriage is a state/religious thing, I'm not a big fan of the government, or most organized religions, therefore actually being married is not essential. It's more about feeling that attachment, than having the paper to prove it. I feel that kind of attachment already, I don't need the paper to keep me with him.

I have to admit, I've slipped up and referred to him as my husband. It just seemed natural, it feels right to call him that. No documentation or ring can make you feel that, so I don't need it. Not that I wouldn't be totally ecstatic if it did happen.

(...Should I post this? Would it be wise? Or should I just keep these thoughts to myself, and play it safe... no, I'm not taking two steps back this time... moving forward. And I feel that I have to explain myself, because I know he'll be reading, and like I said earlier, my blog is his insider's view.)

*heh, I'm still staring at the screen, pondering whether or not to post it...

Update Time or What The Hell Is Up With That?

(I'm a lousy typist when I'm smoking. Took forever just to type the title.)

Have I mentioned I have the best boyfriend ever? Only like 500 times, I know of. He mentioned last night that if his reading my blog kept me from posting about things that he would stop reading it, because he didn't want to be the reason that I quit blogging. I had to explain that I don't mind him reading it, in fact, I like that he reads it because sometimes I post things that help to explain myself to him. It gives him an insider's view on why I do what I do, and it's much easier to write it here than to try to explain it in conversation.
The reason I've censored my blogging in regards to us is that it's no longer just my business that I'm sharing with the internet at large, it's his too, and he's a pretty private person.. I'm not. I don't keep secrets, if you have secrets people will find out about them and use them against you. So I am quite willing to be honest with people and share everything about myself with them if they want to hear it. No secrets, no hedging around things, etc. But when it comes to his life, and his business I try to avoid sharing it, because I know he wouldn't always appreciate my sharing it and since I'm not sure what would be okay to share and what wouldn't, I just don't talk about him much.

(He left for work this morning and didn't leave me any cigarettes, I'm starting to get a little edgy...)

The point here is that I'm not being censored by anyone but myself, out of consideration for his feelings, and that he should continue to read my blog because it gives him an advantage that most men don't have in relationships.
I think it's probably time I dropped some of my censorship tho, it's time I shared a bit more of what's been going on up here.



Our camping trip was an eye-opener in many ways...
It has been brought to my attention by many people that I need to be more aggressive in the bedroom. I have a tough time with that, I have a tough time with rejection, and if I make the first move and show that I have a need, I can be rejected. I just have to start slow, and work my way up to full-blown aggressiveness. So far, this is the only complaint Aaron has shared with me, it's probable that he has other things about me that he dislikes but he hasn't shared them with me. I have a few things about him that drive me a bit crazy, he procrastinates, he's a horrible packrat, and he doesn't take good care of himself. Raw hot dogs on white bread does not constitute a real dinner! But these are minor things, that I expected when I moved in. None of them makes me angry or in any way changes my love and respect for him. The love and respect that is constantly fed by his behaviors, such as offering to stop reading my blog, or being surprised when I tell him he makes me happy because he was afraid he wasn't paying enough attention to me, or telling all our guild buddies what a good cook I am when I complain that I don't know if he likes my cooking or not. He's very good about taking care of my emotional needs. Compared to most women mine are pretty easy to take care of, and he does a great job at it.

I keep finding myself surprised also by the fact that he doesn't slip in mean comments and think it's all in good fun. That's kind of a weird way to put it... Nic used to tease me, he'd call me his 'frumpy dumpling', make snide little comments about me gaining weight, ask me to wear makeup or 'something nicer', etc. Individually these comments were okay, but after a while I just got insecure about my appearance because he never seemed to be happy with me just being me. I'm not a makeup, hairspray, uncomfortable clothes, bulemic kind of girl, but he was subtly pressuring me into becoming one. Aaron doesn't do that. Ever. He has never once questioned my appearance, or asked me to improve it, in fact he worries more about his appearance than mine. When we are out in public I don't feel like he's embarassed to be seen with me. It's really tough to say this, because I know what people are thinking... Why would she put up with that? Ariel's not the kind of girl to let a man talk to her like that... No. I'm not. It just snuck up on me, first it was little jokes that we both laughed about, then the jokes started to sting a bit, then it got to the point that I couldn't have a conversation with him without feeling like crying... by the time we broke up I was sighing with relief, and honestly I didn't even know why I felt relieved, I didn't realize what he had been doing all that time until a week or so ago when it clicked that Aaron didn't do that and I realized that Nic did.
I am terribly afraid that I will disappoint Aaron. I am scared that I will inadvertently do something wrong and hurt him, or lose his respect in some way. One of the reasons why I'm censoring the blog, one of the reasons why I try so hard to not be pushy or needy. I don't want him to be disappointed in me.


(Ran to the store to pick up some smokes)


Where was I?
Oh yeah.
Basically it comes down to the fact that I am happier in this relationship than I have been in any other, he's not just my boyfriend, he's my friend, lover, brother, and still my favorite drinking buddy. :) I only worry that he won't feel the same.

Long Live the Geeks!!

I hit level 60 today. Finally!!

I'm so proud.

This calls for pictures!!























In order this is me between a yeti's legs, me and Thavian on our mounts, me and Xena (aaron) killing more yetis, and me and BDJ (aaron's other character) in our matching bad mojo masks.

I RULE!

Definitely a Geek

You scored as Fantasy Goth. You are a Fantasy Goth. You may or may not actually be a goth, but "normal" folks see you as one of those weird kids, and you are probably considered a geek by quite a few. Fantasy Goth 79% Anything-Goes Goth 79% Understanding Outsider 75% Romantic Goth 71% Old-school Goth 50% Perky Goff 46% Confused Outsider 46% Ethereal Goth 42% Industrial/Rivet-Head 38% Death Rocker 33% Cyber-goth 21% What subcategory of Goth best fits you? created with QuizFarm.com