Sorrows

For some unknown reason people tend to call me with bad news. Whether it's bad news I want to hear or not.
My dad called earlier this week to tell me that my stepmom's stepdad had passed away, not a big shock since he was very old. But it means that her mom will be moving in with my dad and Jackie. While he was at it, he informed me that he planned on putting my dog to sleep too. Losing Sugar is a little harder, but ever since she developed cancer I was prepared for the day that she would be put down, six years ago he had suggested that it was time to put her to sleep, and he wanted me to okay it because she is my dog. I told him that when she stopped living, and was only surviving, it would be time. Six years later, it's time. She doesn't chase the cats anymore, she doesn't come running out to greet cars in the driveway anymore... she's not happy, and she's dying. And now is the time, before she starts to really suffer.

I had another call last week, from Daren, to inform me that his mother who had been fighting cancer, had also passed away.
Then, Tammi called this morning to inform me that Marian, who is the mother of Nancy and Joe who run Eat at Joe's restaurant, passed away. She died in a car accident.
Eat at Joe's has been Mina's favorite restaurant since she was a baby, they still give her free ice cream when she comes in, and as many sprinkles on it as she wants. It's the epitome of the little hometown cafe where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. Like Cheers, but without the alcohol.
I'm sad to hear of Marian's passing away, but on top of everything else this week, it seems faded, unreal, and just a little false.
I told Mina about her death after talking to Tammi... but I haven't told her about Sugar being put down yet.
That's going to be a lot harder.

Spring Fever

Oh yeah, I got it bad. I'd like to take a toothbrush to every nook and cranny in the house but I fear I'd wear out a lot of toothbrushes. I need to CLEAN! I need to PLANT things! and... I need to get laid. (I'm pretty sure this counts as part of spring fever)
Now, don't everyone start cussing the man out yet. It's not his fault. He's still have trouble from his dodgeball injury. It's sad, but kind of funny in a demented way, every time he coughs or sneezes he cringes from the pain. It was really bad the day I washed the curtains and dusted the living room. Poor guy was sneezing all night from all the dust in the air.
In any case, the s-e-x word is not an option until he is fully healed. The last thing I want to do is aggravate his injury and have him out of service until August. It also means he hasn't been playing dodgeball though, and that makes him sad. He goes to the games and really wants to play, but is stuck on the bench. Poor thing.
So I'm stuck wreaking havoc on anything that keeps my mind off the unattainable, such as work, laundry (although the off-balance vibrations of the washer don't help much), dishes, cooking, planting stuff, and of course WoW.
I'm thinking that maybe tomorrow, if it's still nice, I'll wash the outsides of the rest of the windows plant some more stuff and take a nap in the sun.
That sounds nice.
I went to the store earlier to pick up a can of green chiles for making enchiladas, and came back with a 6-pack each of impatiens and lobelias. I am so bad. At least my plant addiction is better than a drug habit, it costs less, doesn't impair my ability to function, won't kill me, and is perfectly legal.
Kim works at a nursery, and at some point I want to go up there and do some serious shopping with her. She got me a peony a while ago, that I still need to find a good spot for so I can get it in the dirt.
Can't wait until June, when I can pick out some tomato plants.
Anyway, ta-ta, gotta go fold more laundry.

Working From Home

My sister sent me some work to do again. SHe also dropped $200 in my bank account, before I did the work. I love her. Admittedly this is partly for her own gain, it was stuff she didn't want to do, but I don't care. I like doing this kind of work, it takes time but I can get up and get something to eat, do some housework, help Mina with what she needs, and go back to working on it at my own leisure. It's nice to be able to do my work at home, early in the morning or late at night. I hope she comes up with more stuff that she wants done and doesn't want to do. It makes me wish I worked for the Bathroom Reader too.

Cake

For some bizarre reason, I'm craving chocolate cake. I actually laid in bed last night for quite a while thinking about making some chocolate cupcakes with multicolored frosting, and then about picking up a decorating set and adding little flowers to them or something. It was kinda weird, I think I need to lay off the caffeine before bed. It tends to leave my mind wide awake even though my bady's telling me to go to sleep, and then random stuff like cake decorating pop into my head and won't go away.

I need chocolate cake! And maybe bacon, mmmm, bacon.

Long Distance Psychics

Phone psychics are highly overrated, I called one once, many many many years ago. It was expensive, and pointless, and really very mediocre.
I do admit to my own superstitious nature readily. I believe in a lot of that sort of hullabaloo (<--great word), but not phone psychics. I tend to believe more that your own psyche has the ability to point out to you via indirect means the truth of your circumstances, because basically you already know these things, you just think them over too much and don't let nature take it's course. Your own wants, needs, and fears obscure the truth from your conscious mind.
At least, that's my take on things. I own a tarot deck. I'm actually pretty good at readings too, I think it's because I shut my mind away from influencing the lay of the cards so that only the person who I'm reading for is affecting them.

My sister and I were talking the other day, and while we were talking she was on the computer doing online I-Ching and tarot readings. I don't know much about I-Ching, but the premise is similar to that of any other divining method. She learned that now is the time in her life when major changes have settled for a while, it's a quiet vacation time, but to get the things she wants she needs to ignore her normally pushy and aggressive nature and try to slow down and let things fall into place in their own time. Patience is not one of her virtues. This will be a challenge for her. Especially since she has recently been reintroduced to a crush from way back in high school, and they are hitting it off nicely.
She's very excited about the idea. I can't help but wonder if this is a trend that others are experiencing too, the situation of suddenly seeing someone you had overlooked before in a new light, someone from your past who has changed or maybe you have changed and things just click between you. It happened to me, I had gotten settled into the idea of being alone, of living out my adulthood as a single parent, and spending my later years in a little house in the woods with cats and vegetables, and maybe Tammi too, if she was alone as well. And then, BAM!, out of the blue, I looked at someone from my past, who I had known for many years, with brand new eyes. Instead of just someone who I trusted to be a friend, but figured probably didn't even remember my name, who was more like a big brother than anything else, I saw an attractive, intelligent, fun, and very sweet person. Someone who can make me laugh when I'm cranky, who tries as hard to do things for me as I try to do things for him, someone who I don't have to mother because he isn't a little boy, but I want to mother because sometimes everyone needs to be taken care of.

Where was I going with this?...
Oh yeah, I hope my sister has found that person.
She tried to do an online tarot reading for me, but it only showed what has already happened. The best we could figure was that I'm on the right path and I just need to be more open, more assertive, and have faith. Sounds good to me, but then again, I already knew that. This is the right path, this is where I want to be, and where I need to be.
There is a certain part of me that is always held back, that is always prepared for the eventual letdown that will come in a relationship. I don't feel like there will be a letdown in this one, but if it comes I will be prepared and if nothing else I will have learned a lot, grown a lot, and hopefully helped him to do the same. Aaron has most definitely instilled a new trust in men in me, I no longer feel like they're all the same, and they are all out to hurt me. This is definitely the right path, and I'm walking it with a smile, wherever it may lead.

Doldrums

So, I'm in trouble for playing too much WoW and not posting again. Shame on me, I am bad, and deserve a beating. A good hard spanking (stop thinking those dirty thoughts).

Despite the fact that my mom asked for my blog addy I still haven't heard anything about it from her, so either she read it and now refuses to speak to me due to my sordid lifestyle and disregard for others, or she just hasn't gotten around to reading it.... I'm going with the latter.
Apparently she is just too busy to take the time to read about her daughter's life. Waaa.

I have some things I've been contemplating lately, but they aren't really things I can share.
Aaron and I had our first tiff today... lol, he was dipping his green beans in MY curry! I don't know why, but it actually annoyed me. We both thought it was pretty funny though that our first tiff was over green beans. It wasn't really that though, it was that my straight and narrow plan for the day had been jostled. I don't mind spontaneity if I have nothing else to do, but I was in the midst of several loads of laundry, the dishes were in the dishwasher and hadn't been put away, and dinner hadn't been made. He called from work and we went out to see Ice age 2, which was really great. but when we got back I got flustered trying to get the laundry that was on the table folded, while cooking dinner, and fishing around for dishes that hadn't been put away yet, plus since the dishes that are clean haven't been put away, we couldn't just rinse our dishes from dinner and toss them in the dishwasher, so they are stacked in the sink. All this means that tomorrow I will still have to finish the dishes and laundry.
Can you blame me for being a bit frazzled? It just puts me off. I'm too organized with my time to deal well with spur of the moment stuff.
Apparetly this is something I need to work on in the future.

RvB Meme

I love Red versus Blue, anyone who hasn't seen it should take the time to, it's pretty funny. Just one more example of what the human mind is capable of creating out of sheer boredom.

What Red vs Blue Charecter are you?

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Cut Off

Last night Mina had a major blowout. I'm not really sure what it was about, al I know is that I came very close to beating her little butt about two hours after bedtime. She was just wigging out, and to add insult to injury she felt the need to write me some nasty little notes about how I was mean, and she hated me because I made her sad. I couldn't stop laughing. Her spelling is getting much better.

So today I have made an effort not to be on the computer, to be available to her when she needs me, to let her spend some time on the computer and to just relax a bit.
Basically I've been cut off of the computer.

In fact, she just came in insisting that she needed more paper and left in a huff when I told her that she had plenty and didn't need any more. I'm looking forward to getting a nasty note about that as well.

I'd better go, cuz one way or another we're gonna have it out tonight, if I have to beat her to get it through her thick skull that I am not her servant or her primary form of entertainment, then I will. But I hate having to do it, since it's just gonna make things worse.
Damned kids, why can't they just chill!
This wouldn't be a problem if she'd go outside and make some friends, then I'd never see her and we'd both be happy with the time we spend together.

Explanations

As is usual for me Murphy's Law was in effect this weekend.
I swear Murphy and I walk hand-in-hand some days.

I had gone to pick up Mina, after not nearly enough sleep the night before, and stopped at Eat at Joe's for lunch on the way home. Then, about 20 miles from my dad's place we turned a corner and the steering wheel locked up and smoke started billowing out from underneath the hood of the car.

I pulled into the nearest driveway, walked to the house down the street, used their phone (I don't get reception out there)and ccalled my dad to come and get us. It took a while so we waited and enjoyed the company of our hosts for a bit.
We got back to the house, and I called Aaron to let him know what was going on since we had had plans for the evening. He headed down to rescue us, while we waited.
By the time I thought "oh, I should call people and let them know I'm not gonna be able to make it today" it was too late because my phone had died, and I didn't have access to my address book anymore.

We stayed the night at my parents's house then got up at 6 to figure out what was wrong with the car. I drove it down to Joe's and parked it, and discovered that the alternator belt had broken in half. The belt drives the power steering pump, and A/C and the alternator.
So basically the car would run until the battery ran down, but it wouldn't steer for shit. So Aaron and I went into town and picked up a new belt, went back to Triangle Lake and got the tools, spent about 20 minutes at Joe's putting in the new part, and then I headed back to dad's to get Mina, while Aaron headed home.

I stopped in to visit with people, a day late, but nobody was home. So I headed back up here. I'm very sorry if I worried anyone. i'm kinda pissed that after all of that hassle it came down to a $10 part and 20 minutes of labor.

I adore Aaron, because I was freaking out that it was gonna be a huge production that would cost hundreds of dollars, and I'd have to find a mechanic to do the work, etc. But he came through for me, and got it done, and I didn't need to worry after all.
He rocks.

Apologies to All

I know I told several of you I would visit yesterday, and you all ought to know me well enough to know that I did not intentionally stand you up, and if possible I would have called to let you know I wouldn't be able to make it.
I will gladly explain myself, but not now, I'm exhausted. Gonna take a quick bath and a nap. I'll post more later.

I'm very sorry.